What lessons have you learned that we should all learn at your expense?

"thebigbossyboss" (thebigbossyboss) 11/10/2014 at 14:41 • Filed to: None

3

31

Here's something I ripped from groupthink (because I am awesome) and it's actually good. Name one life lesson and one automotive lesson you've learned from your life the hard way.

My lessons are the following:

Life:

1) Do not ever ever pick a fight with a bouncer. You will most definitely lose. If on the rare off chance you don't lose, you might "win". In that case you'll probably go to jail for assault. Fighting a bouncer caused me one direct knee dislocation, which caused another knee dislocation (no doubt helped along by the first) which then caused knee surgery. I have recovered from knee injuries 3 times now. I am 27. The "fight" was not even close to worth it.

Cars:

2) Do not think using a straw/hose siphon method is good for emptying your power steering fluid resevoir. Old power steering juice tastes really really bad.

Your turn Oppo!!

My citroen won't start > thebigbossyboss 11/10/2014 at 14:44

0

Forgetting the suspension on it's lowest setting and going over bumps, oh the horrific noises.

Accidentally calling your girlfriend the wrong name (someone she hated)

Overtaking on the hard-shoulder

505Turbeaux > thebigbossyboss 11/10/2014 at 14:44

2

I could be here all day...

Loose lips sink ships. Ill leave it at that for now

thebigbossyboss > My citroen won't start 11/10/2014 at 14:47

1

I used to have a female roommate. I would often call my girlfriend her name.

Whoops.

JGrabowMSt > thebigbossyboss 11/10/2014 at 14:48

2

Life: Hold high standards. Let people fall short, and learn to accept that's how things are.

Love: Hold higher standards. Don't back down. Be best friends. "Walk in on a deuce" best friends.

Cars: Always have a second person around when you're doing a lot of work. Doesn't matter if you're just rotating tires, you can 1) cut the time in half and 2) have a sanity check right away.

My citroen won't start > thebigbossyboss 11/10/2014 at 14:49

5

The sentence my mind chose to switch names on was "I love you too ___ "

CB > thebigbossyboss 11/10/2014 at 14:50

1

First off, shitty to hear about what happened to your knee. Also, we should start making flavoured vehicle fluids for when these kinds of things happen.

And now, my tips.

1) Always wear eye protection when playing with Nerf guns. Getting surgery to repair a torn retina due to a Nerf dart is pretty lame (but also quite hilarious).

2) Always be aware of what might enter your lane, especially if a vehicle is turning a corner in front of you. They might drift into your lane, and you have to react fast before crash. (Yes, I managed to thread the needle between the bus and the pedestrian island. No, I am never going to pass a when it's merging from an inlet into the right lane ever again.)

thebigbossyboss > My citroen won't start 11/10/2014 at 14:52

0

Oh goodness. Luckily both females took it in good humour. Thank the lord I never uttered that.

thebigbossyboss > 505Turbeaux 11/10/2014 at 14:53

0

WHAT ABOUT THE CAR SECTION????!!!!???

thebigbossyboss > CB 11/10/2014 at 14:53

0

similarly one lesson I learned: Always wear eye protection when jackhammering.

ACESandEIGHTS > thebigbossyboss 11/10/2014 at 14:55

1

1) Don't date your friend's (any friend who you'd like to keep as a friend) sister/brother/cousin, etc. It will end and if you're lucky now you're awkward friends, but mostly you'll never talk to each other again.

2) Think you're smart enough to carry on relationships with two women w/o one knowing? You're not.

3) Be careful inflating tires at a gas station pump. Although it's cool when you're looking at a tire as it blows out over the bead and you can see what looks like a shockwave a split second before you lose your hearing for half an hour.

The Compromiser > thebigbossyboss 11/10/2014 at 14:55

1

I used to be a bouncer. I used to train all the new guys on all the dark shit we were allowed to do and what we couldn't. This was back far enough that you could be rough and no one said anything.

My first instruction was : you are paid to protect people and the bar from idiots and themselves. You are not paid to fight.

My second instruction? Remember you aren't paid to fight fair.

I weighed next to nothing and worked a large popular bar by myself. First fight. I climbed the biggest guy and dragged him out. When he turned to challenge the monster who overpowered him, all he saw was a 5'11" 170Lb kid. He just walked away. I nearly shit myself. He could have murdered me with one punch...

Life lesson: if you work yourself to death for someone, they will be upset when they have to replace you. But they will.

Automotive lesson : brake fluid, Trans fluid and blinker fluid have specific homes. No matter how dark,late and poorly lit you are, don't mix it up! Trust me and the guys who had to replace my brake lines on this one.

CB > thebigbossyboss 11/10/2014 at 14:55

0

Maybe we should just always wear eye protection?

thebigbossyboss > ACESandEIGHTS 11/10/2014 at 14:56

0

These are good advices. However I did ask for one car related advice.

Pilot of the Clown Shoe > thebigbossyboss 11/10/2014 at 14:56

2

Always wear eye protection when using compressed air to blow out something you just used a bunch of brake cleaner on.

thebigbossyboss > CB 11/10/2014 at 14:56

2

Yes. Next time you'll see me I'll be wearing swim goggles.

thebigbossyboss > The Compromiser 11/10/2014 at 15:00

1

Good advices all round. One time in a particular moment of idiocy I almost put diesel in my gasoline car. Luckily I caught myself in time. Dummy is dumb.

ACESandEIGHTS > thebigbossyboss 11/10/2014 at 15:00

0

OK, added one.

thebigbossyboss > ACESandEIGHTS 11/10/2014 at 15:02

0

...That must have scared everyone within a half mile radius.

ACESandEIGHTS > thebigbossyboss 11/10/2014 at 15:05

0

I've heard if it's a big enough tire the concussion will just kill you rather than deafen you.

505Turbeaux > thebigbossyboss 11/10/2014 at 15:06

2

here is one story for you, and some insight. Taken from last years "worst thing someone said about your car" question on Oppo

"I got alot of love, but some shit for my Roadmaster Estate. I had sex with a girl in it, met her at a bar where she was getting takeout, and she stuffed a bunch of sauteed onions from her sandwich into the pockets of my jacket while I was nailing her (I was unaware until the following day) right in front of the bar - thank you tinted windows. I dropped her off at her car and she was getting out, she told me my car made me look like an old man, and she wouldnt give me her number because of it, even though she complimented the sex. Bad enough, but it took me a week and a detail to get that onion stank out of there. Double whammy. Onions, why onions? I feel like that was the biggest part of the insult"

Don't hook up with random girls holding stinky takeout at a bar, as hot as they are. They are all nuts

Trevor Slattery, ACTOR > thebigbossyboss 11/10/2014 at 15:13

0

Life: Most people get what they deserve. Either by what they did, or what they did NOT do when they had the chance.

Cars: As soon as your cars tires feel like they are gone...they are. Get new ones before it costs you your car, a trip to the ER and surgery.

The Compromiser > thebigbossyboss 11/10/2014 at 15:20

1

I worked full serve and saw it a couple of times. People in a rush who won't wait. New hires who didn't see the gas can on the stoop. People who know better than the attendant and the guy who put the unleaded sticker and gas cap on the car.

I had a guy sit and wait at the diesel pump once in his 70-80s two door rear fill car for five minutes. Never popped the trunk, never got out. We looked at him from the office like he was on crack. He finally gets out and starts to pop the cap and get the pump nozzle down for his car. We run out doing the audit thing "that's Diesel!!!" he looks and says nothing. He looks at me then looks at his badging. Right beside the name badge is the word diesel.... never took anything for granted at that job again.

Klaus Schmoll > thebigbossyboss 11/10/2014 at 15:23

0

- Just be a nice person and help a fellow citizen out once in awhile, you might be amazed at what you get back from the most unexpected places/situations/people.

- The filler thing behind the back of that 7,5 ton truck you just rented isn't the fuel filler, even if it looks like one. It's the oil filler. Should you however manage to fill that up with diesel DO NOT START THE ENGINE!

BoulderZ > thebigbossyboss 11/10/2014 at 15:25

0

Life: Keep your priorities straight. Careers, money, and status are not without their own place, but they pale in comparison to the importance of friends and family. Stand, suddenly alone in a hospital room, holding your 6-hour-old kid while your wife is whisked away for emergency surgery, and I guarantee you're not thinking about that big sales presentation, your next class exam, your big project, or what your car/house are like. Know what matters, and spend your very limited time accordingly.

Auto: Never open the drain plug on a transmission, transfer case, or differential without first being sure that you can also open the fill plug, and that they both will come out in re-useable shape.

You can tell a Finn but you can't tell him much > thebigbossyboss 11/10/2014 at 15:36

1

Life: Never underestimate someone just because they have a dirty mustache and work at Walmart. While waiting I happened to see one of the night managers having a conversation with an employee, nothing major. Based on appearance I didn't give him a lot of credit, but when he greeted every employee he walked past by name and looked each customer in the eye and said a brief hello I started to suspect I may have underestimated him.

Cars: Don't pass when the road is shiny in the winter even when the guy in front of you is driving 15. The shiny means its icy and when you decide to hit the brakes to pull back in they will lock and you will continue to gain on the person resulting in you choosing between hitting an innocent bystander head on, sideswiping the person you so foolishly decided to pass and then hitting someone head on or hoping you go through the snowbank and end up in the ditch with snow up to the top of your hood on a full size truck. Luckily I went through the bank and after only about an hour of digging and a friend trying to tow us out we managed to get out of the ditch.

thebigbossyboss > The Compromiser 11/10/2014 at 15:44

0

Hahaha. He fooled you that time.

thebigbossyboss > You can tell a Finn but you can't tell him much 11/10/2014 at 15:47

0

Do what you do with pride. Great advices. If in doubt don't pass. This lesson brought to you by nearly having a head on collision with a gmc envoy.

thebigbossyboss > Klaus Schmoll 11/10/2014 at 15:49

0

Great advice klaus!! I remember telling my dad about your truck story. I'm sorry, but I laughed hysterically at that mishap.

The Compromiser > thebigbossyboss 11/10/2014 at 17:42

0

Oh the stories I can barely remember. I lost a year in the 90s...

Sally O'Broder > thebigbossyboss 11/10/2014 at 23:02

1

My father, in fact, does not know very much about cars.

Chances are if he says to do something, it's actually better to just do the opposite.

Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > thebigbossyboss 11/11/2014 at 00:26

0

was it like calling your teacher mommy?